To those of you who regularly sign off e-mails with “looking forward to your feedback” – what exactly do you mean? Be honest. Ok, I’ll go first. What I usually mean is: “Looking forward to hearing how much you loved my work.”
Just kidding.
Or am I?
See, there’s feedback and editing. Editing means someone takes apart the piece you just created, remarking on structure, wording or choice of quotes. If it’s a good editor they’ll make the piece infinitely better. It’s direct feedback on your work. It’s super helpful.
What I wasn’t prepared for when I went freelance though – besides the fact hat nobody pays you on time – was the constant stream of feedback on myself. In all shapes and sizes.
There’s the rejection of a pitch (how dare you not want to work with me), the ghosting after I send an offer (why am I not worth what I think I am) and there’s direct feedback from clients, for example after a workshop (which has really gone both ways in the past months).
But do you know what the worst kind of feedback is? The one I give myself. I am such a bully.
Working on my own, I find it impossible to walk the fine line between being my own critic (to get better) and my own hype woman (to keep putting myself out there). I keep sliding down the critical side of things. All the way to the bottom of crippling self-doubt.