There is safety in numbers
Happy International Women's Day 💪
Welcome to this bonus issue of the Verve Letter. I just had to send out something on International Women’s Day. But I’m not going to talk about all the ways in which we’re still struggling to reach gender equality – I do that almost every day. I wanted to use this day to spoil the biggest success strategy known to patriarchy: forcing women into separation from each other.
A woman on her own can be easily gaslighted and put in her place. You can tell her she is over-reacting, too sensitive, that she just didn’t get the joke, that she won’t be able to survive without a “provider”, that it’s not her fault that she is inferior – it’s just nature, and if all else fails, you can label her as crazy or hysterical and lock her up.
As a group however, women pose a threat to the system. They are a force to be reckoned with. Once dying alone (as in: without a husband) is no longer scary to women, men lose their power. And who would be scared of dying alone if you knew a whole tribe of fierce women had your back?
Unfortunately, the single best con of the patriarchy to date is that it convinces women to separate themselves from each other all on their own. I’m going to do something ridiculous now and quote myself quoting someone else (can you tell I don’t have an editor?) – but a while ago, I wrote a piece about the scarcity myth, which drives us away from other women. I quoted Glennon Doyle, who I had heard on the How To Fail podcast:
“She said that as women we experience life as a table, and at that table there are ten seats: eight for men and two for women. We are conditioned to fight other women for these two chairs – instead of demanding the men to hand over three chairs. You are conditioned to believe that if another woman is successful, there is less success for you."
What I want us to do today is to pull up six extra chairs. At least. To support each other, lift each other up and have our backs – like men have been doing it for centuries in their old boy networks. To realize that one woman’s success and happiness doesn’t take away from our own.
So, without further ado, I want to give the floor to women whose work I admire, who inspire me and whose brilliance sometimes makes me jealous. It’s a mix of women I have followed for a long time and women who I only discovered this weekend, after I asked you for your recommendations on Instagram (thanks again!). They are writers, creatives, researchers, activists, politicians. Some already have quite a large following, some are hidden(ish) gems. Full disclaimer: Nobody has paid or otherwise coerced me to be featured here.
Brilliant women doing brilliant things
Alya Mooro: Is a journalist and author born in Egypt and raised in London. She writes a fantastic newsletter called “The Greater Conversation”, in which she addresses all aspects of life (from periods to therapy to citizenship) through the eyes of a Middle Eastern / third-culture woman.
Dr. Jessica Taylor: Is a forensic psychologist, and self-published her PhD thesis about victim blaiming as a book titled “Why Women Are Blamed for Everything”. She received an immense load of online hate for the book, but sold 10.000 copies in the first two months – which lead to a publishing company buying the rights. You should probably follow her on Twitter, too.
Jillian Anthony: Writes the Cruel Summer Book Club newsletter, where she explores change, heartbreak, and healing. I loved following her journey after being laid off last spring and road tripping across the Western United States on her own. She reminds me that sometimes it’s really just me standing in my own way – and that self-compassion is HARD.
Otegha Uwagba: Quit her job to launch a network for female creatives working independently. She then self-published (that’s a theme in this list) a career guide for women and had 250 copies printed. Now “The Little Black Book” is a Sunday Times Bestseller. You should check out her podcast series “In Good Company”, which focuses on the intersection of work and feminism, race and money.
Annelise Mecca: is an independent photographer and film maker based in New York City. Her work is focused on human rights and she has spent a lot of time in the Middle East. She manages to capture beauty and humanity even in the aftermath of war, and you should probably follow her on Instagram.
Sophia Hembeck: Writes the weekly Muse Letter, self-published a moving collection of personal essays, titled “Things I Have Noticed” and in the course of that founded her own publishing company. Pandora Sykes recently recommended her newsletter, so you better get in before she’s world famous!
Lina Göttsch: Is a freelance graphic designer and creative mastermind, who is also responsible for the Verve Letter logo. I just love her work and keep recommending her to all of my friends, which includes you now, so please check her out.
Bobo Matjila and Lil Ahenkan: Host the “Bobo and Flex” podcast, which one of you recommended to me on Instagram. I have only listened to one episode so far, but I’m sold. Actually, I was already sold when I read their podcast bio: “We’re on a quest to decolonize our minds, intersect our feminism, but most importantly, give you all the tools necessary to stay away from problematic boys.”
Camilla Zuleger: Is the founder of “Nord Verlag”, an independent publisher based in Copenhagen. She sources books of emerging Scandinavian authors, which don’t fit the cliché of dark scandi-crime, and has them translated for and published in the German market. Brilliant idea, brilliant woman!
Emma Saunders: Writes a beautiful newsletter called “The Naked City”, in which she explores her relationship to London, to seasons and to seasons in London. I love it because I think our relationships to places can be just as complex as the ones we have with other people. One of my favorite quotes:
“To be here means to not be elsewhere. To choose London means to miss out on other opportunities, other hopes, other desires. But it’s a choice I keep making again, and again, and again.”
🇩🇪 Ein paar deutschsprachige Empfehlungen
Vivien Helmli und Katharina Meyer zu Eppendorf: Haben mit @frauenschreibenauch eine Plattform gegründet, auf der sie Literatur und Texte von Frauen besprechen. Und mit dem neu gegründeten Lesezirkel “Feministische Theorie für Alle” einen digitalen Ort geschaffen, an dem gemeinsam gelernt, gedacht und aufs Patriarchat geschimpft werden kann.
Marlene Borchardt: Ist Journalistin und wurde während ihrer zweiten Schwangerschaft mit Schwangerschaftsdiabetes diagnostiziert. Weil sie online nicht die Informationen gefunden hat, die sie brauchte, hat sie kurzerhand ihr eigenes Online Magazin aufgesetzt. Mit “Zuckerzeit Typ 4“ wird sie garantiert noch vielen Frauen helfen.
Aminata Touré: Soll hier stellvertretend stehen für die immer größer werdende Gruppe an jungen Politikerinnen, die sich auf Bundes- und Landespolitischer Ebene gegen Sexismus und Rassismus stark machen. Ich folge ihr auf Instagram und Twitter.
Barbara Maas: Ist Journalistin und Coachin. Wer in den Medien arbeitet, sollte ziemlich sicher ihren Newsletter “Haftnotiz” abonnieren, in dem sie regelmäßig über New Work, Innovation und agiles Arbeiten im Journalismus schreibt.
I could keep adding to the list ‘til the cows come home, which feels pretty amazing. Look at how far we’ve come already, how many women have said: “F*ck it, I’m going in!”. Listing talented and successful women isn’t supposed to intimidate anyone, but to encourage you and to show what’s possible if you have a little fate in yourself.
Now, to round up, here’s the incomplete list (as I couldn’t find accounts to all entries) of female creators you recommended to me over on Instagram, in no particular order:
⭐️ @celinecelines ⭐️ @iamchristlclear ⭐️ @ionegamble ⭐️ @kingsophiesworld ⭐️ @togetherfreemovie ⭐️ @another.girl.with.ms ⭐️ @eolhcsheppard ⭐️ @laerkebagger ⭐️ @wovenbywood ⭐️ @thokamaer ⭐️ @marie_goldblattverlag ⭐️ @whitespacecreation_ ⭐️ @iamnotana ⭐️ @priszci ⭐️ @lebefrauu ⭐️ @bundesbizepsministerin ⭐️ @gethandsdirty ⭐️ @laura_kampf ⭐️ @genausonuranders ⭐️ @madamemoneypenny ⭐️ @corlandi_c ⭐️ @valuesunite ⭐️ @sonjalovdal ⭐️ @mb.poulsen ⭐️ @thedebutante_ ⭐️ @terri_jane ⭐️
pop culture pleasures
There can only be one pop culture pleasure in this issue and that is the Netflix series “Grace and Frankie”. If there is one show which champions female friendships and women supporting women despite all their differences, it’s this one. Plus, it’s hilarious, heartwarming and can be very safely consumed while feeling anxious. Like, when you’ve been stuck in a global pandemic for a year.
❗️Oh, and one last request: Has anyone watched the current season of Grey’s Anatomy? I’m one and half episodes in and have VERY conflicting feelings about them picking up this Covid thing. Like, too soon? Anyway, I’m serious, please get in touch and tell me what you thought!
That’s it for today. You know how you can support me, if you wish to do so: Like, share, subscribe, buy me a coffee, or send me a picture of your pet because that just makes me happy.
Until next time,
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Thank you so much for these kind words Anna! It means so much to me that my work has moved you, and that you would recommend CSBC to others. And I found several new women to inspire me here! <3