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Head over heart.
That’s the theme of 2020, isn’t it?
In the beginning of the pandemic, politicians called upon our social responsibility: Stay home, ignore your needs for social interactions, it’s all for the greater good. And most of us were on board. Watching Netflix for a few weeks and feeling like a hero – worse things have been asked of us. So we all stayed home, my spring holiday got cancelled, I buried myself in work, partly because we had a shit ton to do, partly because there was nothing else to do. It was a head-heavy, or rather head-only, spring.
Then followed the summer. Restrictions were easing up, things were looking a little brighter, yet again, politicians (and employers) urged us to rethink our travel plans. Stay home, if possible. Or don’t go far. Please don’t fly. Some countries kept their boarders shut. So I cancelled my original summer plans and did a short improv-holiday. Which was really nice, but you know, not what the heart wanted.
Currently, in Germany we are in something called “lockdown light”, but to me personally it feels like “lockdown extra heavy” because it coincides with my yearly November blues. It’s dark, cold and rainy – and now cafés, bars, concert venues, movie theaters, gyms and restaurants are closed. I’m finding it really hard to stay positive these days, despite the fact that I know the Covid-measures are necessary.
So when I interviewed a psychologist the other week, I asked her advice. She said that in times like these, our head has to rule over our heart. Because when we’re feeling down, we won’t feel like doing anything, not even anything pleasant. So she recommends to keep a list of activities, which have a proven track record of lifting our spirits, and to force yourself to pick at least one activity from the list on days you feel down. There’s just one rule: Items on the list mustn’t be self-destructive (so drinking one bottle of wine in one sitting is out). My list looks something like this:
Go for a walk/run and listen to a podcast
Do a Yoga with Adriene video
Break a sweat
Read a book and turn off the Wifi
Catch up with a friend
Cook something with lots of veggies
Go out into the woods
Drive to the seaside
Eat something with cinnamon
If all else fails: Watch (more) Modern Family
I have done all of this within the last seven days to keep my head above the mucky waters of lockdown depression. And yes, it works, to a certain extent. But it’s also bloody exhausting. I’m proud of me for taking such good care of myself, but I’m also so, so tired of “being reasonable” and “doing what’s right”. My head is tired, because it has been asked to do all the heavy lifting this year. Every gut instinct had to be re-evaluated, every pull on my heart strings quietened.
If you are a fellow Adriene devotee, you probably have her signature cue “head over heart, heart over pelvis” ringing in your head while reading this. It’s a really helpful reminder to keep your body in alignment, no matter in which Yoga pose you’re hanging out. If those three are not aligned, you lose your balance, stability and worst case, risk injury. As with everything in Yoga, this can be 1:1 transferred to everyday life.
Things get wobbly when we’re head-heavy.
Now, I’m not usually an impulsive person who makes decisions on a whim (I’m a capricorn after all), but I’m usually quite good at following my heart and listening to my gut. Recently, however I’m less in tune with my gut feeling, which has lead to a few sub-par decisions. Coincidence? I think not. I’m treating this as a wake-up call to tune back into my intuition a bit more and hope that, eventually, my head can take a bit of a rest.
I wish I had some sort of catharsis for you after all this rambling, but all I got is the same old: We’re all in this together. Our heads, our hearts, everything. And I truly believe that we will come out of this so much more resilient than we have ever been.
pop culture pleasures
⭐️ Love and Anarchy on Netflix. I inhaled this Swedish eight part series in two days and loved every minute of it. It’s hilarious, warm and refreshingly modern. Basic plot: Female consultant is hired to help an old school publishing house enter the 21st century and starts an affair with the IT guy, who is twenty years younger than her. The way the show flips gender roles on its head and plays with stereotypes without ridiculing anyone is just amazing. 12/10, please watch.
⭐️ Alya Mooro wrote a piece about enjoying solitude as a woman and I found it both very relatable and moving.
“But loving your own company is never a bad place to be. The alternative is arguably and always far worse. In particular as, as Alduous Huxley put it in one of my favourite books, “We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves.”"
⭐️ Due to a very recent and absolutely mind boggling incident of mansplaining, I re-read Kate Manne’s unpacking of the phenomenon in the NYT and thought you’d enjoy it, too.
⭐️ Leta Powell Drake, a TV journalist from Nebraska, went viral as “the greatest interviewer of all times”. In the 70s and 80s she interviewed all the big movie stars and brought a level of unprecedented honesty to the table. For example, she opened the conversation with Gene Hackman with “You’ve been in some brilliant pictures, and you’ve done some stinkers.” Queen.
⭐️ Some podcast episodes I loved recently: Candice Carty-Williams on the Adam Buxton Podcast, Shea Coulee on Table Manners and an oldie but goldie, the massive inspiration that is Charlie Dark on Creative Rebels.
🇩🇪 Wer jemals verlassen wurde, der wird sich in dieser Folge des Schnapsidee Podcasts so sehr wiederfinden – legt schonmal die Taschentücher raus. Und wer gerade Liebeskummer hat, der wird sich danach ein bisschen weniger allein fühlen, versprochen. Paula ist nämlich frisch getrennt und spricht bewundernswert offen über ihr Gefühlsleben.
🇩🇪 Außerdem war Sabine Rückert im Talk-o-mat zu Gast, wo Paulina Krasa sie ganz ordentlich zum Thema Feminismus ausgefragt hat. Und auch wenn sich Frau Rückert partout nicht als Feministin bezeichnen will, ist sie meiner Meinung nach eine von uns. Eine sehr starke.
⭐️ The best viral video of the week, the month, the year? Definitely the best in the Category “funny cause it’s true” and absolute cringe, here you go, you’re welcome:
That’s it for now, remember to be kind to yourself. And if you don’t mind, please forward this mail to someone who you think would enjoy it. It would mean the world to me.
Until next time,
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