What if nice girls actually got the corner office?
Hi friend!
It's Sunday night and I have just about recovered from Friday's incredibly frustrating meeting. I was supposed to give a 15 minute presentation to a room full of male execs. You know how long it took? Over an hour. Because I could not finish one. single. sentence. I was constantly talked over, they constantly talked over each other, the thing dragged on forever, it was a colossal waste of everyone's time.
I realize now that I had been sidelined at a "masculinity contest", a term coined by a study published in the Harvard Business Review. A term, which refers to a work culture that rewards stereotypical male qualities like ruthlessness and toughness and MAKES EVERYBODY MISERABLE (even the most masculine men). It also ruins businesses.
"Masculinity contest cultures make everyone unhappy, leading to higher rates of burnout, turnover, illness, and depression."
You know what would NOT drive people into burnouts or ruin businesses? A work culture which rewards cooperation and compassion, listening skills and respecting others. Women's cultural norms, if you will. Author Ruth Whippman thus dares to call for a true revolution in this snappy, poignant NYT piece:
The magic that can happen when women stop trying to lead like men, and instead lead like women, was beautifully highlighted in another NYT piece, this time by Tina Brown. She draws on examples like Jacinda Ardern and Nancy Pelosi and boils it down to: "Salvation doesn’t lie in pursuing traditional male paths of ejaculatory self-elevation." Ejaculatory self-elevation. Let's leave it on that note.
👋 Excuse me, do you have 200 hours for me? According to research, this is the amount of time it takes to turn an acquaintance into a close friend. A number well worth remembering when we try to make friends as adults – and befriending someone becomes a deliberate process instead of being a byproduct of going to school.
But even before you have spent 200 hours with just one person, they can enrich your life. Gyan Yankovich's Manrepeller column is an important reminder that all friendships have value, not just the very close ones, that good things take time and she also builds a strong case for casual friends:
"The joy that casual friends and acquaintances can bring to your life is so often overlooked. Not only can they bring laughter and company, each has the potential to grow into a close friend over time."
Who counts as a casual friend? Anyone who'd say yes if you asked them for an after work drink this week. Go!
⭐️ Regarding pop culture, there are a number of things that brought me pleasure this week:
First and foremost, the release of the musical love child of Matt Berninger (yes, THE NATIONAL) and Phoebe Bridgers. It's so beautiful, it might have made me cry.
Cush Jumbo on How to Fail. She plays Lucca Quinn in The Good Wife and The Good Fight and I had no idea she was actually British! She shares fascinating behind the scenes insights and has a very honest conversation with host Elizabeth Day about rejection, self doubt and mental health.
Not sure if food counts as pop culture, but who cares, this is my newsletter. I made this vegetarian Shepherd's Pie last weekend and went straight to heaven. Ultimate fall comfort food.
Speaking of food, Tablemanners has returned! Queer Eye star Antoni Porowski kicks off the new season and Jessie Ware is fangirling like anyone in their right mind would be. They have wonderful chemistry on air and the interview is both light hearted and emotional.
📅 Any plans for Monday, October 28th? Impact Hub Hamburg is showing the documentary "Women's Voice - India's Choice" and I have been invited to join the panel debate afterwards. The debate will be in English, movie starts at 19:00, free entry, more info in the Facebook event. See you there!
That's all for now, have a lovely week,
Anna
☕️ PS: Zum Montagmorgen-Kaffee empfehle ich Folge 42 von Deutschland Was Geht. Hazel Brugger macht einen Barista-Kurs und der Kursleiter kann es humortechnisch locker mit ihr aufnehmen. Gold.